"You can't shake hands with a clenched fist."
- Indira Gandhi
The most significant gesture in business and in life is a handshake. In many cultures it is the unspoken message that accompanies our words. A handshake often takes place when you meet someone new, when you are greeting someone you haven't seen in a while, when you leave a party or meeting, when you offer congratulations or when you agree on a contract or working arrangement.
Historians agree that the handshake was most likely developed several hundred years ago in England as a method to communicate that you were empty-handed and unarmed during a meeting. Weapons were often concealed in the left sleeve so shaking was done with the left hand. As more people began to travel without weapons it became common to shake with the right hand. Certain historical figures took liberty with shaking hands and created their own custom. George Washington decided that shaking hands was for the common people so he bowed when greeting people in public.
The intent in shaking hands is to make contact "web-to-web" with the other person's hand. The web of your hand is that part between your thumb and forefinger. Extend your hand with your fingers together, in a vertical position, with the thumb up and slightly to the side. Once you make contact with the web of the other person's hand, close your thumb over the back of the hand and give a slight squeeze with your fingertips. Here's where so many people go wrong. Some move in for the kill and give a bone-crushing handshake that brings tears to the eyes of the other person. Then there are those who stop at the first hint of contact and never add the little squeeze that indicates there is life and energy in the body. The result is the "wimpy" or "limp" handshake, sometimes referred to as the "dead fish."
Every country in the world has its own customs for meeting and greeting. Most cultures encourage handshaking more often than the United States. As always, you need to do your research on meeting and greeting before you embark on an overseas trip. If you are a woman, this is critically important since certain cultures do not allow women to touch a man who is not related to them.
Here are some of the most common handshaking rituals around the world:
* In Japan it is normal to shake hands frequently. Sometimes a bow is included or substituted.
* In Europe you shake hands whenever you meet someone even if you know them well.
* Russians tend to shake hands frequently but never while wearing gloves.
* A strong handshake and good grip are appreciated in South Africa.
* A vigorous, pumping handshake is normal for the Chinese.
* Men in Arabian cultures encourage a long and limp handshake along with a specific verbal greeting.
* People in Panama greet each other with eye contact combined with shaking hands.
* The French always shake hands in business meetings but all other greetings involve kissing the cheeks.
* In Kuwait shaking hands is only used for male strangers who meet the first time. Shaking hands with an unrelated female is considered inappropriate.
* Residents of Indian and Pakistan shake hands by grasping your hand in both of their hands and holding your hand briefly.
It is considered impolite to refuse to shake hands but be prepared in case you meet someone who says "No" to handshakes because of arthritis, joint problems or a communicable illness such as a cold. The person who is unable to shake hands should always offer an apology and a brief explanation so that the other person does not feel shunned.
You may occasionally encounter someone who does not respond in any way to your outstretched hand. When that happens, simply withdraw your hand and ignore the snub. It's the other person's problem, not yours.
Knowing when and how to shake hands is an important business skill whether you are working in your own office or if you are traveling to a meeting 5,000 miles away. Always give the impression of someone who is polite and confident by cultivating a firm, but not crushing, grip and always offer your hand when appropriate.
